Getting Down to Business

I got yelled at to update my blog so I'm just following orders here (see lunch buddy I DO listen (sometimes)).

It's 2 weeks until the semester is over and it just struck me how much I actually have to get accomplished. Additionally, I should probably really pick it up at work as monitoring will only become more serious as the weeks progress. For some reason I don't feel stressed just a sense of urgency.

I'm class free tonight and looking forward to getting a head start on papers for Western Civilization and Modes of Reasoning. I might test out a few of the essays here and see what others have to say.

I've been having some really unusually dreams. But for the life of me I can't think of any of them to share. As much as I hate the cold I really love the snow. I'm trying to find the most annoying (least expensive) song singing tree for my cubicle. Last year I had 2 of them. Mysteriously a week before the holidays one went missing and turned up after the new year. I'm thinking it's time to bring in the jingle bells again (they were such a big hit last year).

I think lunch buddy may have been expecting a post about the smile on my face. Better Luck Next Time!!!

A little about me

Welcome to the 2006 edition of getting to know your friends. The theory is that you will learn a lot of little things about your friends, if you did not know them already.

1. What time did you get up this morning? 5:02 AM

2. Diamonds or pearls? Diamonds

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Crank (I think)

4. What is your favourite TV show? Top Model (only night I'm home)

5. What do you usually have for breakfast? Nothing

6. Favourite cuisine? Italian

7. What is your middle name? Marie

8. What food do you dislike? Vegetables

9. What is your favourite CD at the moment? Wham or Mariah Carey

10. What kind of car do you drive? I own a Grand AM, drive is a different story.

11. Favourite sandwich? Peanut butter & strawberry jam

12. What characteristic do you despise? Dishonesty

13. Favourite item of clothing? My "Daddy's Girl" t-shirt (long story)

14. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? Australia

15. What color is your bathroom? It's another long story, it should be white, but it's kind of baby blue.

16. Favourite brand of clothing? Fredrick's of Hollywood (kidding)

17. Where would you retire to? California

18. What was your most memorable birthday? My 8th

19. Favourite sport to watch? diving

20. Favourite saying? No problem

21. When is your birthday? March 29, 1982

22. Are you a morning person or a night person ? Night

23. What is your shoe size? 9/10

24. Pets: never

25. What did you want to be when you were little? Prime President of the United Provinces of Canamerida.

26. How are you today? Decent

27. What is your favourite candy? Cheerios

28. What is your favourite flower? Fragrant Cloud or any hybrid tea roses

29. What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to? Any day I have off from work.

All I want...

I haven't asked for anything for the holidays in years. All I need is the chance to watch my holiday movies (Love Actually, A Christmas Carol, A Wonderful Life and National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation), to listen to my two favourite holiday songs (Last Christmas & All I Want for Christmas is You) and spend some time with the people I love and I'm good. I have a love/hate relationship with this time of year. Depending on the mood I'm in I either look forward to the cheerfulness or look for a place to hibernate. This year cheerfulness is definitely winning.

So I thought I'd share with everyone my two favourite songs. Last Christmas was posted earlier, so please enjoy:

Mariah Carey - All I Want For Christmas Is You

Sad but true...

I was once in love with David Bowie. If you're wondering how that happen all I can say is "The Labyrinth". I love that movie (it's bordering on sick obsession/addiction (I've already started my 12 steps)). This clip shows why I fell:



If you watched the video you are now probably wondering "what the hell?" Was it the makeup? the hair? I think it was a combination of the songs in the movie and the fact that he was willing to steal her little brother away.

In the event that you've actually seen the movie before, I found this clip that I think is amazingly well done and I had to share.




I told you I was a geek many times before now so don't feel shocked. You should have believed me.

Rolling with the punches

I always expect others to simply roll with the punches. Life happens, you deal with whatever situation you face and keep going. I have a tendency to let things roll off my back and there is very little that actual "gets to me" in the sense of comments or opinions people have about me. I guess I have my dad to blam... I mean thank for that. I don't want to say that he was hard on me growing up, however he's a very I-N-T-E-R-E-ST-I-N-G man and you'll learn quickly that he doesn't always say the most appropriate things (there was an instance with a lady at a stop sign, her baby and a banana/monkey joke that stands out vividly in my mind). You either had to learn to suck it up and give what you got or become an investor with Kleenex. Unreasonably, I expect others to have the suck it up philosophy and if they throw it back I feel a weird sort of connection. (Yes, I’m a very sick person) You'll know I like you if I'm comfortable enough to make fun of you. If I'm overly polite, I either don't like you or don't know you (If you're reading this and I'm usually polite to you PLEASE consider yourself to fall under the latter group). I get easily annoyed with people who don't seem to be able to let my comments not affect them as half the time I've forgotten what I've said before I've even completed the statement. I rarely think that people are taking me seriously as I have such difficulty trying to be serious. (In fact if anyone bothers to read my ramblings they would notice the use of the words - honestly, truthfully, admittedly are used on a regular basis - because even I feel the need to let myself know when I'm not joking around). SO, what I'm trying to say is for the most part people really shouldn't take it personal.

It’s me, not you.

I'm sorry, I had to

Wham - Last Christmas

Inadequate

I hate to see someone hurting. I always feel so inadequate in those situations. Almost like I should go and call a "Real Adult" to come and assist. One of my friends told me her aunt passed away this morning, she was really upset, but worried about getting her job done. I expressed my condolences and offered to listen if she wanted to talk. She said she just wanted to go home and be with her mom who is flying out later today to be with the rest of her family. She'd already checked with her boss who'd told her just to do the minimum and go home, but she was trying to push herself to get some of her other duties done. I convinced her to just do what she'd been told and go it's not going to make a big different if for one day her job doesn't get done but spending time with her mother comforting each other is something I'm sure they both need. I still feel kind of useless, like there was something else I could have done and just couldn't think of it.

Interesting

There were 3 very interesting smells on the bus this morning. There was a gentleman who smelled like Pasta Fagioli. I'm still not sure how I feel about that. I love Pasta Fagioli, it's one of my favourite dishes when I'm sick, but would anyone want to smell like pasta and beans? The next lady to get on the bus had that distinct air of baby prostitute. It was not what you want to smell at 6:30 in the morning. The next guy made me go "Hmm". He couldn't have been more than 16 and he smelled like "Old Spice". That is a scent which in my mind will always be associated with my grandfather (he's currently in his late 70's). So it just seemed like a big mismatch for a kid to be wearing it.

I got 7 good mornings back today. Obviously, it's going to be a great day.

Flushed Away (I wish)

There is nothing more disgusting than a women's washroom. At school today I walked into a washroom, it had 23 stalls, only one was ready for immediate use and there were 2 others that would have been suitable after a toilet paper seat cover, the rest were in various states of grossness. So called "squeamish" women do some of the most unspeakable things. So should you see me entering the men's room, it's not a mistake it's a conscious decision as I try to save myself from the horror that is the women's washroom.

Section 3 of the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms

3. Every citizen of Canada has the right to vote in an election of members of the House of Commons or of a legislative assembly and to be qualified for membership therein.

Although it's a right afforded to every Canadian citizen, I don't believe everyone deserves to vote. If someone is voting who hasn't researched the issues or isn’t making an educated choice I'd rather they don't bother. Voting because you like someone's name, look or just to stick with the status quo doesn't work for me. I'd prefer they stay home and watch Dr. Phil.

Careless Whispers

Driving me CRAZY!!

I'm suppose to teach an old dog some new tricks. I'm really not looking forward to it. I have a feeling she'll make me lose what little mind I have left.

What's his name?

I laugh every time I hear that phrase. We both know you're not asking because you forgot his name, it's all about making a point. I also love that after asking the question the asker often answer themselves.

Where are they?

Does anyone else wonder where "they" are? The masses, the "they sayers", the planets. Everyone I know claims not to be one of them, so where are "they"? I've searched at work and at school and apparently my environments are full of suns, with not a planet in sight. I was just curious because lately "they" have a lot to say.

Cost of Living

It's official, I'm now earning over double my age (actually, it will still be double after my next birthday).

Free Week

The first week back from training is considered a free week. Nothing is expected from us and nothing is what I'm willing to give them. I've basically been on break or lunch since I got here this morning. I've read everyone’s blogs, hit the "Next Blog" button a hundred times and figured out to the second when I can retire. They've given me 4 files to complete this week (that should take a fully functionally agent half a day to complete). I love low expectations; it makes it so difficult to let people down. I found out on Friday that I won the award for my program at college. This should mean some sort of certificate/plaque and a monetary award. I could have found out sooner, but I didn't really bother to look. Fairly often I don't really bother to look or pay attention. I wish I had an excuse, but honestly I just don't care enough.

Drained

I've started a new medication and my body is feeling pretty drained. I guess it's just trying to readjust. I've never felt more of a need for a nap than I do right now. It's weird because my mind is racing, yet it feels like my body is in slow motion.

What day is it?

I stood at the bus stop and watched 3 buses go by before I could convince myself to get on one. Because we get Remembrance Day off today is my Monday and I really don't want to be here. I keep looking at the pictures on Steve's photoblog trying not to think that 53 days separate me from this:

Last Day of Training!!!!!!!!!!

I'm so excited I can't sleep. I have exactly 4 more hours of training left. I've aced all the test (2 - 94%, 2 - 97% and 1 - 100%). There's one more test to go later this morning. I have my celebration all planned out. I'm going to Dim Sum as soon as training is over and then shopping for shoes. I get to babysit my favourite person tonight (10th Kingdom here we come). I should probably head off to bed as I have some studying to do and today's going to be a busy day.

This Is Me

This is something I won’t often admit to as I don’t like to think about it, but here it is:

When I was younger I used to feel I wasn't enough. I wasn't quite black or white enough, I just never felt like I really fit in. Unfortunately, there were also people who used to tell me I'm not black enough, I didn't talk right or act right and I didn't look "white" so it was kind of difficult. I think that's why when I was 14 I really felt the need to go to Trinidad, so I could prove to myself that that is where I fit in. Going back I didn't feel that sense of connection. Before we even landed there I was feeling out of place. I was born in Trinidad, but we left when I was 3 and I was born a Canadian Citizen as both my parents are also citizens. On the plane they tried to tell me I had to declare that I was Trinidadian because that's where I was born, but I’ve never had any ID from there and I was traveling on my Canadian passport with my Canadian Citizenship card. I got kind of upset about the situation, but did as they ask and moved on. I loved Trinidad but it didn’t feel like home. There was no sense of belonging, it was more like “Wow, this is a great place to visit.” I’ll go back often to see family, but I don’t ever see myself wanting to live there.

Because I look black a lot of people expect me to relate more to that side of my background. Of my extended family the person I've spent the most time with is my Nonna (Italian Grandmother). We've made pasta together, tomato sauce, I've even gone and selected the tomatoes with her and spent the weekend cover in tomatoes as we make the sauce for that year. We can just hang out and chill (I’ll even watch the Italian soap operas with her). The one disconnect is that I don’t speak the language. When my brother and I were little my mom enrolled us in Italian language school. At that time many of the students were not willing to accept two black kids in their school and my mom pulled us out by the 3 class. Going to elementary and high school it was never an issue as it was a pretty diverse area we lived in (I’ve already blogged about the one interesting experience).

With the very minute amount of bad that comes with being mixed there is a much greater amount of good that I wouldn’t be willing to trade for anything. I’ve got family all over the world (every continent except Antarctica). We’ve been able to experience all sorts of different traditions (weddings, funerals, baptisms, family reunions). I’ve got the most insane extended family. It’s taught me to accept people for who they are and how to understand and be compassionate (yes, I can be compassionate on occasion). I love being a mixed kid and I look forward to helping the next generation of mixed children to never have to worry about not being enough.

MIKE "PINBALL"CLEMONS

Last night I went out to dinner with some of the people from my training group at work. I was sitting with an older gentleman and lady (both in their fifties and have been with the government longer than I've been alive) and our trainer who's in his late thirties to early forties. They all know I'm still in school because I've had to run out of training twice in order to make it in time for classes. The lady beside started to ask me about my schooling and ambitions (something I'm always willing to discuss), and then she started complimenting me, (something I'm always willing to hear). She went on about how I seem to really know my stuff (I told you so!), that I have a great speaking voice, I'm entertaining and she told me I should really consider a career in politics if I change my mind about law. So, as you can imagine I'm feeling pretty good by this point of the evening. The conversation moved on and we started to talk about Toronto (only the trainer and I are from this area), we covered politics and sports and the CFL. Out of the blue the older gentleman says I really remind him of Mike "Pinball" Clemons. Normally, I don't think it's considered a compliment for someone to tell a girl she reminds of a football player, but than he explained. He said he had heard Clemons speak at an event and that Clemons was such a captivating personality. He said up until Clemons started to speak he hadn't really been paying attention, but then when he got up there you couldn't help but feel his presence. He said you really “bought into” what Clemons was saying and that he was such a likable, real person. You felt his passion and that his smile was simply contagious. He than said that I really do remind of Clemons.

I think that was the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.

Lazy...

is a perfect description of me today.

Talk to me

I wanna take you home
To my place
Share my dreams and my fantasies
I can’t wait
I wanna show you things
You ain't never seen before
Girl I hear you crying
Crying out for more

Talk to me, talk to me
Am I doing this right?
Talk to me, talk to me
Are you feelin alright?
I've been waiting for this my whole life
And here you are tonite
I've been waiting for this my whole life
And I can see it in your eyes
Are you ready to stay up all night?
To see the morning light?
I’ve been waiting
And waiting
And waiting
My whole life…

So now here we are
Turn the lights down low
Or we can go fast
Or should I go slow?
I wanna kiss your lips
Is that okay?
I'm that guy, I'm that guy baby
You'll be callin' on my name
Sing it to me now

Talk to me, talk to me
Am I doing this right?
Talk to me, talk to me
Are you feelin alright?
I've been waiting for this my whole life
And here you are tonite
I've been waiting for this my whole life
And I can see it in your eyes
Are you ready to stay up all night?
To see the morning light?
I’ve been waiting
And waiting
And waiting
My whole life…

I …wanna cater to you
No... Nothin I wouldn't do
I tried to find words to say
I’ve never felt love in this way…
This wayy...
Ive been for this my whole life
Here you are tonight

I’ve been ready for this my whole life
And I can see it in your eyes
Girl are you ready to stay up all night
To see the morning light
I’ve been waiting
And waiting
And waiting
My whole la la la la lifee...

Will you be waiting….
My whole life….

I'm Officially Bored!!!

Training - Day 8

It feels like I've been in here for ever. The air is the stale, the florescent lights are killing my eyes, and my mind is slowly suffocating. I don't think I can take much longer of just sitting here. I miss my phone, my co-workers, my friends. In the past two days I've completed 3 tests and my right hand is going numb. My life-line (the blog) is becoming a tiresome chore. I miss the lady in the cubicle across from mine who is probably going crazy over the BS-KF split (I refuse to write their names). I miss being able to sneak in at 8:30 and have nobody notice. I miss my 45 minute morning break. I'm slowly going crazy................

I Concur

"Our lives are not determined by what happens to us, but by how we react to what happens; not by what life brings us, but by the attitude we bring to life. A positive attitude causes a chain reaction of positive thoughts, events, and outcomes. It is a catalyst...a spark that creates extraordinary results."