Just Thought I'd Share

This morning for some reason i bought a package of applesauce. I'm usually not a fan of mushy food, but i just felt in the mood for some. When my little sister was about 6 months old i was playing with her shortly after my mom had finished feeding her. I was holding her up in the air and asking who the cutest baby in the world is. While in the middle of said sentence she spit up and it land right in my mouth. For some reason my applesauce reminded me of that episode (I don’t think I'll be eating applesauce again.)

For some reason the sock in my left shoe won't stay up.

The word "lethologica" describes the state of not being able to remember the word you want. i seem to be in that state quite often.

Last Saturday i spent most of the day hanging out with a 6 year old, it's sad that that was the most intellectual conversation I've had in a while (finally, someone who gets me).

When you die your hair will still appear to grow for a couple of months.

Next year is my parent's 30th anniversary and my dad's -- th birthday. I'm trying to think of something nice to do for them (but being nice is so far out of my realm, I'm finding it quite the challenge).

Laughing lowers levels of stress hormones and strengthens the immune system. Six-year-olds laugh an average of 300 times a day. Adults only laugh 15 to 100 times a day. (the 6 year old connection is beginning to make even more sense).

queer eye for the wizarding guy

I'm a huge Harry Potter fan; I even took a college course on the wizarding novels. I've been in the line ups for the books and movies and finished the majority of the books usually within a day. I have to admit that I’m not completely surprised J.K. Rowling outed Dumbledore. If you read the final book in the series Harry Potter and the deathly hallows there were a couple of passages that would indicate that Dumbledore might be waving the rainbow coloured flag come gay pride weekend. I think what bothers me about her decision to out Dumbledore is that it added nothing to the story. The fact that Dumbledore is gay adds no value to the plot or his character development. Dumbledore as with the majority of the professor at Hogwarts were always asexual. Digging into their personal lives seemed unimportant. We didn't care if McGonagall had husband and kids or had previously been employed as a stripper or if Trelawney was widowed and had 6 dead husbands or was addicted to crack and developed a heroin problem. What mattered to the reader is how those characters were able to assist Harry and the affect they had on his life. To be honest I’m a little disappointed that Rowling felt the need to share that part of Dumbledore’s life with us. I'm sure next she'll be telling us that Voldemort was really Harry’s father.

I want my bed!

I'm getting a cold. Not one of the "Hi I'm just here to make you sound stupid and go through 3 boxes of Kleenex" kind, I've got the "I'm here to play the drums in your head, make your eyes look like you've just lost your best friend and your face look like the snotty faced kid from Bad Santa". I can't remember making it from my bed to work this morning, but miraculously I'm here. My face hurts, my eyes hurt, my teeth hurt, my nose hurts, even my pinkie finger hurts (I don't think that's related but decided to throw it in anyways). I feel this way with the Sudafed working, I'd hate to imagine how I would feel if it wasn't. I should be going to class tonight, but have decided to give into my body instead and will be going home to rest (read Archie Comics).

I've Missed You

So more and more often lately I've had the urge to blog. In fact there have been many times when I'm sitting on the bus and I'll write 2 or 3 posts in my mind, but for some reason (laziness) they never make it on the computer. I've written a million posts on my trip to Cape Town and the Cottage this summer. Hundreds on my little sister growing up too fast and at least a dozen on why I hate taking the bus. I find that since certain people (*cough* my dad *cough*) were made aware of my blog, I've been censoring myself without even getting it out of my head. Writing this blog used to be my favourite time of day, I would go on right before bed and get whatever was on my mind out in the open or first thing in the morning so I could start each new day fresh. I think for my mental health it is vitally important that I make a return to the blogging world.

Relationships

I had a phone conversation with a friend of mine and I found what they had to say kind of upsetting. They told me repeatedly that I should find a new boyfriend and by the third time it stopped sounding like a joke. I've learned from experience that you should never try and tell a friend how they should handle their romantic relationships as it is usually your friendship that suffers. If you tell them to leave and they decide to stay it really makes everything awkward. If you tell them to stay or to leave and they follow your advice they normally end up blaming you for their unhappiness. I find the best approach is let them make their own decisions and to let them know that regardless of what that decision is you'll be there as their shoulder to cry on, or bridesmaid or whatever they need, they can know you'll be there for them. My boyfriend might not be the richest or the smartest; he is however, the best looking, he's there for me, he supports me and most importantly he loves me. I've seen people go through some awful relationships and if you weren't looking closely you would have thought that they had met their perfect match. My boyfriend might not look or act perfect, but he is perfect for me and that’s all that should really matter to the people in my life.

The email

I was mean to someone the other day. I was rude and disrespectful and I said words I normally don't say. I wrote it all down and went back and forth a million times trying to decide if it should be sent and finally hit the send button. I felt awful afterwards, I wished I could reach into the computer and take it all back. I considered apologizing or asking the person not to read it and then decided not to bottle it inside, left it as is, went to bed and I would deal with it in the morning. I woke up with the sunrise and thought today is too beautiful a day to waste reliving the feelings of yesterday and choose to leave the computer off and deal with it tomorrow. It finally came time to see the consequences of my actions. I logged in and saw that there had been an almost immediate reply. The response was nothing what I had expected it to be, it was simply indifference. It's sad that it bothered me so much to send that one stupid email and that the person receiving it couldn't have cared less.

Bio

Borrowed without Permission from Karen

MOUTHOLOGY

Q. What is your salad dressing of choice?
A. Caesar or Thousand Island.

Q. What is your favourite fast food restaurant?
A. Wendy's

Q. What is your favourite sit-down restaurant?
A. Wendy's

Q. On average, what size tip do you leave at a restaurant?
A. A big one, normally 15%-20% depending on the service.

Q. What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick off of?
A. Breakfast (eggs, bacon, sausage, toast, etc.)

Q. What are your pizza toppings of choice?
A. Mushrooms, pepperoni, mozzarella cheese, ground beef

Q. What do you like to put on your toast?
A. Peanut Butter and Jelly

Q. What is your favourite type of gum?
A. Trident White - Peppermint

TECHNOLOGY

Q. what is your IQ?
A. Through the roof, somewhere around 200 ;p

Q. Number of contacts in your email address book?
A. too many considering I only use like 20 of them.

Q. What is your wallpaper on your computer?
A. My boyfriend and my little sis

Q. How many televisions are in your house?
A. Like I'd gave you another reason to break into my house ;p


BIOLOGY

Q. Are you right-handed or left-handed?
A. Right-handed.

Q. What’s your best feature?
A. All of them

Q. Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
A. Brain

Q. Which of your five senses do you think is keenest?
A. Smell

Q. When was the last time you had a cavity?
A. A long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away

Q. What is the heaviest item you lifted last?
A. Timothy T.

Q. Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
A. Yep!

BULL[CRAP]OLOGY

Q. If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
A. Not really, I like surprises.

Q. Is love for real?
A. Yes.

Q. If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
A. I've kind of gotten used to my name, though I've always liked Sunshine

Q. What color do you think looks best on you?
A. Green or Red (just not together)

Q. Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake?
A. Yup, (is this suppose to be a dirty question?)

Q. Have you ever saved someone’s life?
A. I'm sure I have

Q. Has someone ever saved yours?
A. Yup, many times.

DAREOLOGY

Q. Would you walk naked for a half mile down a public street for $100,000?
A. Of course.

Q. Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100?
A. On the cheek, on their face, Yup.

Q. Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000?
A. NO, I like my fingers

Q. Would you never blog again for $50,000?
A. Sure, my phone bill would go through the roof.

Q. Would you pose naked in a magazine for $250,000?
A. Nope, each boob is worth at least a Million.

Q. Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
A. A very small bottle, why not?

Q. Would you, without fear of punishment, take a human life for $1,000,000?
A. No.

Q. Would you give up watching television for a year for $25,000?
A. In a heart beat.

DUMBOLOGY

Q: What is in your left pocket?
A: Dirty Tissue and coins

Q: Is Napoleon Dynamite actually a good movie?
A: I haven't even seen it!

Q: Do you have hardwood or carpet in your house?
A: carpet (really awful carpet)

Q: Do you sit or stand in the shower?
A: Stand

Q: Could you live with roommates?
A: Yes

Q: How many pairs of flip flops do you own?
A: 7

Q: Where were you born?
A. Trinidad

Q: Last time you had a run-in with the cops?
A: 1998 - Washington, D.C.

Q: What do you want to be when you grow up?
A: Rich, smart, beautiful, loved, happy, etc...

LASTOLOGY

Q: Friend you talked to?
A. Dan

Q: Last person who called you?
A: Dan

Q: Person you hugged?
A: Dan

Q: Person you kissed?
A: Dan

FAVORITOLOGY

Q: Number?
A: 3

Q: Colour?
A: Blue - aqua blue

Q: Season?
A: Spring

CURRENTOLOGY

Q: Missing someone?
A: I guess

Q: Mood?
A: Grumpy

Q: Listening to?
A: garbage being collected

Q: Watching?
A: Computer

Q: Worrying about?
A: Nothing

RANDOMOLOGY

Q: First place you went this morning?
A: The bus stop

Q: What can you not wait to do?
A: Go home and sleep

Q: What’s the last movie you saw?
A: The Game plan

Q: Do you smile often?
A: Always.

Q: Are you a friendly person?
A: NEVER.

Tina is...

Tina is very tired today. Sometimes when she is tired she refers to herself in the third person. It's going to be another very long and tiring weekend. Tina may or may not be heading out to the something, something Tavern this evening (Tina has forgotten the name and is not intentionally not saying where she is going). One of Tina's favourite cousins is getting married tomorrow (Tina is now officially tired of the third person). My cousin and I grew up together and it's really weird to think of him as a married man (just as weird as it is to think of Steve in those terms). I went to get my hair done last night. Again, those of you not familiar with black (nappy) hair do not understand the full implications of getting my hair done. Because it has been styled in order to not mess it up, I'm not allowed to sleep. I'm now in my 28th hour of wakefulness and I'm fading fast. I'm really excited for my cousin and I think I have a great surprise for him. One of his good buddies growing up went away to school and just came back to town recently and I've invited him to come to the wedding with me. Italian weddings from my experience are usually the most fun. I've stopped hiding when they announce that the bride is about to throw her bouquet. I've learned it makes too big a scene with some people, so I quietly join the crowd and keep my arms tightly to my side and sneak to the opposite direction when I figure out which way the bouquet is going. The last thing my family (*cough* Grandmother *cough*) needs is any encouragement in their (her) quest to see me married by next year.

Update

Where's Marie is currently being updated. I'm hoping to get a lot more pictures from Cape Town on there. So if you like be on the look out.

Could you be more annoying???

Okay, so there were a couple of things that really got on last nerve yesterday. For example the taxi cab driver that had the clock set 10 minutes slow so I thought I was getting to work right on time when in fact I was 10 minutes late and as a result of not realizing at the time gave him a much bigger tip than he deserved.

I love the rain. It's actually my favourite type of weather. The only time me and the rain fall out are when it decides to fall right after I've had my hair relaxed (straightened for those of you who aren't familiar with black (in other words nappy) hair). It's even worse when the wind is blowing the rain in all directions so regardless of how you hold the umbrella you get absolutely no coverage.

Speaking of umbrellas nothing ticks me off more than those people on the bus who decide it is necessary to give their sopping wet umbrellas it's own seat. This means that even if they later decide to do the right thing and give up the seat to someone who needs it, the gesture is totally empty as the person gets a nasty surprise when they sit right into the puddle the umbrella has made (it might not be the same on the TTC buses but here in York region we have clothe covered seats and it can be very difficult to tell if they are wet or not).

My next favourite thing on the bus is hitting the school stops just as school lets out. There are few things more fun than sharing a packed, wet, muggy bus with 30 loud, obnoxious teenagers.

I think from now on I'll just walk home on rainy days.

Life is Complete

This weekend I had one of those moments that will go down in the history of my life as one of the greatest moments of my life. I've been in love with Jagged Edge from the second I heard the song "I Gotta Be". Seeing them perform it live was something I thought I'd never get to experience. When they starting to sing it at the concert on Saturday I swear my entire body was covered in goose bumps. I turned to my best friend sitting beside me and told her exactly how I felt (I would have turned to my boyfriend, but I believe he was out getting his 5th or 6th beer for the evening) "My life is complete". As pathetic as it is to believe I think there are very few moments in life that will top that experience (maybe childbirth (but I plan to be so medicated I won't remember my name for the following 3 days)). Now all that's left is to see Boyz II Men on July 12th (I'm 93% sure I'll end up pissing my pants that day from being so excited (it might also be because of my weak bladder)). Ahhh… The music of my life.

New Thoughts…

I've been running into a lot of people from my past and every one says the exact same thing… I haven't changed a bit! I'm not sure is that good or bad. Does that mean I look young or just that I used to look old. I don't know or care much and to be honest if take a picture of me from when I was twelve and one from right now the only difference would be that I'm (probably) better dressed now and my makeup doesn't look like it was done in the dark, during a very bumpy car ride.

Did you ever have one of those stories, where it's a great story but because of who it is about you really shouldn't tell it… SO, here it is… Two friends of mine had nothing to do a couple Sundays ago and so they decided to get drunk. As they were sitting there totally plastered one friend (we'll call him friend N) turns to the other and says "I have to go to bed". The other friend (I think we'll call him friend P) says "'N' you're pretty drunk you should stay here for a while and just chill", but N insists that he must go to bed and finally gets up to leave. A little while later P's girlfriend comes home and finds the house in total chaos. Apparently, N had gone upstairs and he must of found it too hot as he started to strip as he got to the top step. His shirt had landed in his sister's room, a shoe had ended up in the bathtub and N had ended up naked on his parent's bed as he had locked the door to his room and couldn't find the key. P's girlfriend (Q) come into the house and was immediately given the duty of finding N's keys which were somewhere in the house, but nowhere where they should be. Once Q stopped laughing (it only took her 10 or 20 minutes) she found P who in his drunken state surprisingly found N's keys rather quickly and P and Q spent the remainder of the night ever so often breaking into fits of the giggles.
(Sorry for the confusion there, but it was so funny I had to share in some form or fashion)

After some extended sick leave I'm finally back to work. Unfortunately, there are many aspects of the job I feel I have to learn all over again. It really almost feels like I'm starting a new job the amount of refreshing and new training I've had to give myself. I guess the lesson learned is stay healthy and I won't have to deal with this again (admittedly, I don't much blame myself for the pneumonia).

For some reason I never seem to make it to the bathroom before my bladder has reached emergency status. I think the problem is I'm still sitting at my desk waiting for permission to use the bathroom and I'll end up waiting there until it is do or die time. I'm almost sure that the damage I've caused to my bladder is irreparable and anytime now I'm going to have to start wearing Depends (or even worse Tena's).

Payback

I have to recognize that what I do unto others will most probably be done unto to me. For years I have found nothing more entertaining than going out to dinner with friends and telling the server it was one friend's birthday when it wasn't and watching the look of disbelief on my friends faces as the servers would walk out singing "Happy Birthday" and they would be trying to figure out exactly what is going on. This has gone on for years with very little payback. About a month or so ago that all changed. Seeing as I finished my program with a 4.0 GPA I easily won (actually tied for) the award for my college offers. The award ceremony is held once every spring and I invited my entire family and my boyfriend to attend. A couple of weeks before the ceremony my boyfriend and I had gone out for dinner to Montana's and I once again pulled of the fake birthday surprise. He took it really well, no blurting out "it's not my birthday" and there was no talk of revenge, all I got was "very funny" (he looked super cute in the horns so I figured he had nothing to complain about!). Back to my award ceremony… so we finally get to my category and I'm fortunate enough to have the teacher who had seen me through most of the program there to present me with the award. As she announces my name she tells the crowd not only am I receiving the award today it is also my birthday. The entire crowd starts to yell "Happy Birthday" and I'm getting pats on the back and all I can think to say is "It's not my birthday!". As I'm saying it for the third time, I look over and I see my boyfriend practically on the floor laughing so hard he can't breath. Apparently, before the ceremony he had gone to the ladies in charge and informed them it was my birthday and had even convinced them to let him go to the front of the room when my award was called and lead the crowd in singing "Happy Birthday". Fortunately, when the time came he was laughing so hard he couldn't make it to the front of the room to follow through. After the ceremony the ladies in charge came up to me to let me know my boyfriend is a "Very, Naughty Boy!!"

What can I say… Payback is a bitch!!!

(At least he got me good)

I'm Deaf

Once upon a time there was a bunch of tiny frogs.... who arranged a running competition.

The goal was to reach the top of a very high tower.

A big crowd had gathered around the tower to see the race and cheer on the contestants....

The race began....

Honestly:

No one in crowd really believed that the tiny frogs would reach the top of the tower.

You heard statements such as:

"Oh, WAY too difficult!!"

"They will NEVER make it to the top."

or:

"Not a chance that they will succeed. The tower is too high!"

The tiny frogs began collapsing. One by one....

Except for those, who in a fresh tempo, were climbing higher and higher....

The crowd continued to yell, "It is too difficult!!! No one will make it!"

More tiny frogs got tired and gave up....

But ONE continued higher and higher and higher....

This one wouldn't give up!

At the end everyone else had given up climbing the tower. Except for the one tiny frog who, after a big effort, was the only one who reached the top!

THEN all of the other tiny frogs naturally wanted to know how this one frog managed to do it?

A contestant asked the tiny frog how he had found the strength to succeed and reach the goal?

It turned out....

That the winner was DEAF!!!!

The wisdom of this story is:

Never listen to other people's tendencies to be negative or pessimistic.... because they take your most wonderful dreams and wishes away from you -- the ones you have in your heart!

Always think of the power words have.

Because everything you hear and read will affect your actions!

Therefore:

ALWAYS be....

POSITIVE!

And above all:

Be DEAF when people tell YOU that you cannot fulfill your dreams!

Always think:

God and I can do this!

Nothing New

In two days tomorrow will be yesterday. Today is no special day and I have no particular reason for writing... I have no news to share.... nor any problems to discuss.... or gossip to tell... It's only one of those happy moments... when I thought of someone special... and I would like to share these thoughts with you...

MANY SMILES BEGIN BECAUSE OF ANOTHER SMILE...

Pain in my heart

Otis Redding has been one of my favourite singers for as long back as I can remember. When I was little on Saturday mornings my dad and I would always sing and dance in the living room as Otis sung in the background. The songs I always loved and made sure he played every time was Dreams to Remember and Pain In My Heart. Both songs talk of heart ache and pain and I don't think I fully understood them until recently. Did your ever imagine something happening a certain way. You get all excited just by the thought and hope the real thing turns out to be half as good and just that half measure would make you happy. I had a dream lately. I was all excited and fulled with anticipation, this time thinking that with even a quarter I would be more than content. Unfortunately, I was way off. Some dreams it really hurts to remember. I almost wish I didn't have those dreams because this situation wouldn't be as painful. The Pain in my heart is pretty constant. It hasn't let up in days. I'm pretty tired of feeling this way. It would be nice to not care but it seems I no longer have the option. I just wish that someone would Try a Little Tenderness.

I'M BACK!!!

Yes, I know it's been a long time and I've been a very bad blogger. Well I'm back now and this time it's for good. I've missed the blogging world. I can't take all the blame for my absence. It was the evil Facebook. It's like a drug or a cult, it just sucks you in (in case you haven't joined yet go to www.facebook.com (Oh no, I've become a Facebook pusher)). I've had the worst flippin cold lately (I'm in the middle of week 3 right now), I've managed to share it with most of my family (Misery loves company (just call me Kathy Bates). I've slept probably 39 of the past 48 hours. Need nap now!!

Later

Turning the page

The only way to find out the ending of a story is to turn the page. Once you turn that last page the story ends. It's not always a bad thing as all stories deserve an ending.

Let's Stay Together

I love Lyfe Jennings, talk about a man with a beautiful soul. The things I'd do to him...

Blogging vacation postponed

So I was planning to take a blogging break. I had every intention of giving it up for a month of rest and relaxation and fingertips that aren't numb on Tuesday nights (seems to be when I feel the most like writing). Seeing as I got called out today as an ex-blogger, I felt compelled to post. So here it is, it's weak and boring, oh well, suck it up!!

Until we meet again,
MS

He's Just Not Into You

I totally understand why this is such a hard concept for most females to grasp. In thier search for The One (if you don't know, you better ask someone) they like to believe that with everyone there is the possibility for something more. Fortunately, I don't suffer from this disease. For the most part I tend to believe most people man and woman alike are simply after the coveted position as one of my flunkies... I mean friends. Basically, unless a man (and yes, it must be a man) spells it right out for me (MS, I love you, I need you, oh baby, oh baby) I normally don't believe that he is (God only knows why) for some reason secretly in love with me or has been pining after me. I don't think of the male of the species as very complicated or difficult to understand. For the most part men only want two things in life (sex and once that need as been fulfilled someone to look after them (I'm just stating what I've been told (any complaints should be lodged with Diogo))). Knowing this makes it infinitely easier to see when he is just not into you.

First thing to consider is communication. If a guy is interested he will call, text, send smoke signals, whatever he feels is necessary to contact you. If he fails to instigate any form of communication that doesn't bode well for you. Please, whatever you do, don't excuse away the missed "I'll call you back later". There are 24 hours in a day, if he has time to eat 7 square meals, get in some Playstation 3 and talk with his boys, he should be able to squeeze in a 2 minute phone call to you somewhere. Making excuses for him is the worst thing someone can do while suffering under the "I know he really cares for me" delusion.

The next thing to keep in mind is does he remember the big things. I'm not talking about birthdays or what zodiac sign you are on the Chinese calendar. Does he remember your name is a great starting point. If every conversation starts with "Who is this?" my educated guess would have to be that he is really not that interested. Does he remember what you do for a living or things you talked about in your last conversation (like how many of his children you wish to bear (never a good conversation point until you've trapped him into (I mean helped him to realize what a great ideal it would be) walking down the aisle)? When a guy is truly interested he'll remember the details (like what you had for breakfast 3 Mondays ago) even those things you really don't want him to remember (like the time you flashed a bus load of people (okay, that might just have been me)).

Another sure sign is does he talk about other girls to you. Generally, if he tells you about dates with other females (and goes into the graphic details (things you just never imagine two human beings doing to each other (a post for another day))). What he is trying to say in his simpleton way is that he is not interested and he is attempting to let you down easy (I don't know how or why their minds think like that, but apparently they do). By letting you know that his interest lies elsewhere you should actually take it as if he came out and said I'm sorry I'm into her not you (A man usually won't come out and say something so straight forward (I think honesty causes them a sort of allergic reaction which they try to avoid at all costs)) (I have this sinking suspicious that statement is going to not go over well with everyone). If he is dating someone else he's just not into you.

It boils down to this if a man really wants to be with you he will be. Come hell or high water he'll make every effort humanly possible. If he shows disinterest don't go making excuses for him or yourself.

Just My Thoughts on he is just not into you.
(Please keep in mind that it is nearing 4 o'clock in the morning and what little common sense I have at the best of times I'm sure by now has deserted me. If anything written above offends or bothers you in any way... SUCK IT UP!!! Sometimes the only way to prove something to others is to pull your pants down and show them that you've got a pair(I have to clue how that pertains to anything, I just like the saying)

Eat, Drink and Be Merry

As per usual after class I stayed behind to talk with the professor. There's a group of about 8 of us that normally do. He asked if any of us know Mike who tends to be one of us that sticks around to chat for a while. I knew who he was talking of even though I can't say that Mike and I are well acquainted. It turns out that this classmate of mine may have had a heart attack and he was currently in the ICU at the hospital for observations and more testing to figure out exactly what is wrong. If you knew this guy you could never imagine that something like that would happen to him; he is only something like 25 years old, he's tall and skinny and appeared to be in good health. Thinking of him reminded me of a situation a couple of years ago. I used to do camp counseling every summer and you get to know each other pretty while after a summer together for 11 hours a day. For those that don't know in York Region there is a lot of training and seminars you must attend prior to the start of the summer. One of the counselors I'd hung out with the previous summer and I'd just spent March Break working with her boyfriend; we ended up partnering up at one of the all day seminars we had to attend. A couple of weeks later I found out she had gone out partying that night, come home and had a heart attack while she was sleeping and died. The explanation was that she had been anorexic for years and that it was too much strain on her body and her heart gave out. It was difficult to believe at the time because she seemed so normal. She was a beautiful girl, she had good grades and she didn't look the way you imagine someone suffering from anorexia would. She looked normal, healthy, athletic. Often when I think of her, I think of wasted potential, someone who when standing on the outside looking in, appeared to have everything going for her. At the time this was something like the 3 or 4 death of a high school student in our district. You heard the expression "Die young and leave a beautiful corpse" being bandied around a lot. Nothing was more upsetting than that stupid expression. I think we can all agree that by the time we die the condition of our corpse won't be a very pressing issue. I'd much rather know that I'd lived a good, long, happy life and left memories that could be thought of fondly. I have no problem with death. To accept mortality is the price that we pay to be human. Life can be difficult, frustrating, painful and we know there is a death sentence at the end, but to live life to the fullest carries its own peculiar glory. A life full of laughter and love is something that should be sought after and cherished. Although, I don't really know Mike and the most we've probably said to each other is a passing hello, he'll be kept in my prayers.

I'm not your tradegy

This is a random collection of different sayings and lyrics from my ratty, old notebook (we're talking all the way back to grade 9 people). My ratty, old notebook also contains a surprising amount of conjugated Latin (a failed attempt to launch a Latin club (grade 11 (I told you I'm a geek))) and curse words in 5 different languages (predominately Spanish) and the awkward account of my first love according to me (honesty and accuracy do not seem to have played a big role in that recollection). I figured I might as well do something with them as there not as bad as I originally feared (see, cleaning my room has some benefits).


Here we go (I'll start with one of my favourites):

I miss the way he could make me laugh when I didn't even want to smile

Seconds, minutes, hours and even days have passed,
And yet you didn't come back...
Memories of the past have been haunting me...
Only a glimpse of you will make this longing feeling right,
So I'll wait for the day that you'll come back.

We may not be lovers kissing each other, holding hands, exchanging I love you's, I may not be your girl or you my man. But one thing is for sure: that when I find someone exactly like you... I won't make the same mistake again

Never say I love you if you don't really care. Never talk about feelings if they are not really there. Never touch a life if you mean to break a heart.

My hands are made to touch you...
My lips were made to kiss you...
My arms were made to hug you...
Now my eyes are crying for you because I know that your heart was not made to love mine.

I'm afraid to close my eyes because I might dream of you.
I'm afraid to open them because I won't see you there.

One day you'll love me as I loved you
One day you'll cry for me as I cried for you
One day you'll need me like I needed you
One day you'll want me but I'll no longer want you

I cannot change the past, but I can let it go.

As time passes by and the years multiply
I'll still be loving you

Why should I give up the fight now?
What if I'm the one who supposed to win?

My body can grow old.
My face can get wrinkled.
Everything in this world can change
Except my love for you

God has blessed me to share time and space with a man he created just for me some will never know that not even a portion of that.

Love can never be unsure.

I'm not afraid of death, I'm not afraid of dying, I'm not afraid of my heart breaking and I'm not afraid of crying. The only thing I fear of ever really coming true, is living this fearless life without you

You are no longer the old friend that I longed for or the one who's there to comfort me when I cry. You're no longer the shadow that guides me or the one who catches me when I fall. You're just a memory that will soon fade with it all.

I don't run from you, I walk away slowly and it kills me because you don't care enough to stop me...


(I honestly don't know who to accredit these to or where I picked them up over the years (I have a feeling that some of them sound suspiciously like L.A.P.). Additionally, I am completely unwilling to lay claim to any that may be original MS in the event they may be used as evidence in the existence of me having a heart. In case you hadn't noticed the have a tendency to sound kind of post heart break seeing as the majority were located in the section right after the account of my first love, I think it gives away the fact that the ending was not a very happy one.)

The wrong impression

Don't get it twisted. I'm doin just fine (fantastic, actually) my marks at school are good and only getting better, I'm getting the new job down, my health is slowly but surely improving and right now I'm just working on the details. Pulling every together. I was just saying I'd much rather be here and now than where I was. LIFE IS SWEET,and I'm loving everyday of it (the only improvement to be made is a little more sleep(okay a LOT more sleep)).

What Shall I Infer?

The war is lost, not simply the battle and I live on to fight another day.