Some Self-Reflection

So we're sitting in the library and Ben reaches over to hold my hand and I look into his gorgeous blue eyes (there's nothing sexier than a man with blue eyes and dark hair) and I think to myself "what am I doing?" Ben's a great guy but he's just recently broken up with girlfriend and I've just recently ended the game I've been playing with a guy for over a year and here I am ready to jump back in. As I sat there listening to him talk about why Mathematics is the hardest major and how his teacher doesn't know anything, it struck me that I couldn't be less interested (in both the subject and him). Going with that train of thought I realized for the first time in a long time I'm not interested in anyone. There have been a couple of guys who were in the back of my mind, thought of as candidates, but as I dated each one mentally (it's a lot easier to date guys mentally than to have to put up with the real thing) I realized they're just not what I'm looking for because, right now, I'm not looking for anything. I think the pressure girls feel to have to be with someone (anyone) causes more panic and heartache than anything else. I get asked fairly often if am married or seeing someone and whenever I say no it's like I've failed a test. People at work keep joking that there must be someone new and that's why I'm all "fancied up" recently. I think it's sad that I can't want to do it for myself and have people accept that. If I wanted some random guy to full a void I doubt I'd have any difficulty in accomplishing that but right now I'm great on my own.

Thank You Very Much!!