Just my thoughts... on life with diabetes

I don't think that a lot of people realize that being diagnosed with diabetes can feel a lot like the loss of a good friend. Gone is the carefree days of doing whatever you want, because not only do you have to watch your diet, you must also consider every action you perform and how it can positively or negatively affect your blood sugars and health. I think that most diabetics have to go through the 7 Stages of Grief...

1. Shock and Denial
2. Pain & Guilt
3. Anger & Bargaining
4. Depression
5. The Upward Turn
6. Reconstruction and Working Through
7. Acceptance and Hope

The three stages I want to focus on are 1, 3 and 7. I spent a long time denying the reality of having diabetes. Mostly, because I felt I was too young (and good looking) to have to deal with something like that, it was really surprising and overwhelming. At 21 the last thing you're expecting to hear that that you have type 2 diabetes. If you know me it's not really my thing to feel guilty, so it wasn't a stage I spent too much time in. But I did manage to get really angry, it was probably the most angry I've ever felt, because it just wasn't fair. I was pissed, every once in a while I still feel very angry, because there are days i just don't feel like being diabetic, or having to test my sugars or not eat what I want, it can be hard to not feel angry at the situation. I did get depressed, but not for very long, because I was often reminded of everything I had to be thankful, including the fact that diabetes does not have to be a life sentence. When I got to stage 7 of acceptance and hope it didn't mean that suddenly everything was rainbows and lollipops, it meant I had adapted to a life with diabetes. The situation is what it is, I can't ignore the fact that my life has changed and my mindset must change with it. I've learned to be more creative in meal planning, find activities I can enjoy and feel safe participating in. I don't hide or feel ashamed of what I have to live with. I can't be the same carefree, untroubled me that existed before I was diagnosed. I'm a better me, I have a greater understanding of what is happening in my body. I know how to properly keep my body fueled and take care of myself. I accept the responsibility of being my own biggest advocate and adversary. I find ways to move forward with a positive attitude, knowing that every day I'm doing the best that I can and as I continue to educate myself the easier figuring it all out will be. I'm well aware of what I've lost, but I won't allow that loss to impede on the anticipation of the good time to come and the joy of experiencing life to the fullest.