My thoughts on... Ashley Wilkes

Disclaimer:  Understanding this post will probably require some familiarity with Gone with the Wind.

So last night Gone with the Wind was on AMC and it got me thinking.  When I was younger I fell in love with my own version of  Ashley Wilkes.  There was only one problem with that - Ashley Wilkes is the classical, ideal example of the "He's just not that into you" guy.  When I realized that my Ashley was Ashley Wilkes and found what I thought to be was Rhett Butler (but turned out to be just an Asshole (a story for another day)), I knew it was time to get over Ashley.

Ashley's main problem is that he's a gentlemen. In the movie when he had multiple opportunities to tell Scarlett that he just didn't share her feelings, he keep discouraging her with his words, but encouraging her with his actions. My Ashley did the reverse and encouraged me with his words, well discouraging me with his actions. His biggest problem was that he was constantly trying not to hurt any one's feelings. Not to say that having Ashley in our lives was an entirely bad experience for either of us, for Scarlett he gave her the courage to make it through the civil war and for me he loved me until I was able to love myself, in both cases he was able to accomplish that with little effort. For a long I made all the excuses that everyone does for a "he's just not that into you" guy. He just needs to grow up, he needs to experience the world, he'll realize soon that I'm the one. And than I started blogging and I recognized all the bullshit I'd been feeding myself. That I'd been doing the definition of Insanity: doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. I realized that Ashley just wasn't that into me and I moved on.

I stopped loving Ashley a long time ago and I'm happy he's found his Melanie and truthfully I don't feel sad or jealous about the way things have worked out, because at the end of the day Ashley Wilkes is still Ashley Wilkes; I'm just no longer Scarlett O'Hara.  I've realized I no longer need or want Ashley in my life.